The Missing Chapters
by KateMartin
Summary: Did you read to the end of Gone with the Wind and think 'It can't end there? Well now it doesn't! Read on to find out what happens next, as Scarlett finally begins to grow up. Meanwhile Rhett is trying to move on, but it seems he is not as over her as he thought.
1. Grief upon grief

The week after Melanie's death always remained a blur in Scarlett's memory.

Somehow she managed to maintain an outward semblance of self control, taking charge of the funeral arrangements, ensuring everyone in Aunt Pitty's household had appropriate mourning attire, welcoming the many callers who came to pay their last respects, comforting the wailing Aunt Pitty and bewildered little Beau. Ashley was like a stranger to her, wandering aimlessly, as lost and bewildered as his son. She wanted to shout at him to pull himself together, but she gritted her teeth and said nothing.

Inwardly she was reeling from the double blows of losing both Melanie and Rhett. Rhett and Melanie, the two people in her world who had always stood by her, always valued her, always loved her. The two people she should have appreciated the most and never had, until it was too late.

She felt their loss like a physical pain, a dull, hard ache in her chest which she carried around with her.

Her Rhett! He was still physically present, for he had decided to stay for Melanie's funeral. But emotionally he had already departed. There was no warmth in him, no light, no comfort. She saw little of him. She knew he was drinking heavily, and she guessed that he was avoiding her.

Sometimes she felt she was trapped in a nightmare that would never end.

The nights were the worst. Alone with her thoughts, she tossed and turned fretfully, sleep alluding her. When she did finally fall into a restless sleep, her dreams did nothing to comfort her. Her old nightmare returned, and she woke screaming in fear. But Rhett did not come to comfort her. And she sobbed alone in the darkness.

Finally the day of the funeral arrived. A large crowd gathered at the graveside to see Melanie laid to rest. Ashley, India and Aunt Pitty, clad in black from head to foot, were all watery eyed and leaning on each other for support. Scarlett stood to one side of them, erect and still. Rhett stood just behind her; she felt his physical presence though they were not touching.

She had been shocked at his appearance when he had emerged to accompany her that morning. He was, as usual, immaculately and tastefully groomed, but his eyes were bloodshot and his gait a little unsteady. More than that, he looked old and tired, Scarlett had thought to herself, and her heart had given a little lurch.

'Shall we go Mrs Butler?', he had said quietly, offering her his arm. It was a few moments before she had found her voice, to reply, in a tone which she had hoped matched his own cool formality, that she was ready.

Now, at the graveside, her thoughts turned again to Melly. Melly was the only true friend she had ever had, she thought with despair. Melly, who always stood by her and loved her. What would become of her without Melly? She dug her nails into her palms and bit down on her lip. 'I mustn't cry', she told herself, 'I mustn't cry'. But as she gazed on Melly's small coffin and the hole in the ground waiting to receive it, she was vividly reminded of Bonnie's even smaller coffin buried nearby, and a hot warm tear slid silently down her cheek. She turned to flee before she made a spectacle of herself.

But Rhett saw her movement, and he moved faster than her to halt her flight. Before she quite knew how it happened, he was standing beside her with his arm firmly around her shoulder. She hardly dared to breathe. Rhett was _holding_ her! How good it was to feel his masculine strength. She wished it could go on forever. She could bear losing Melly if only Rhett was beside her.

Rhett stayed with her, supporting her, until it was all over. Only when they were alone in their carriage did he move away from her. He had not spoken to her the whole time, and he did not speak to her now, but instead gazed steadfastly out the window, his arms crossed over his chest, fists clenched. Scarlett observed him and saw his tension. She wondered what he was thinking.

Was he despising her, hating being near her, eager to escape? She studied him closely. But he looked far away, hardly aware of her presence. No, she decided, he wasn't thinking of her at all. She thought then that maybe he was thinking of Melly. She remembered the look on his face when she had told him Melly was dead. He had said she was a very great lady, and he had looked inexpressibly sad. Or perhaps his thoughts were on Bonnie, as hers had been. It occurred to her then, rather belatedly, that he was quite probably grieving just as deeply as she was! Suddenly she longed to comfort him, but he seemed so unreachable. How could she comfort him when he didn't want her?

Later that evening they ate a silent supper together. As Rhett rose from the table he bowed slightly to her and said flatly 'Goodnight Scarlett. I shall be leaving in the morning.'

'Goodnight Rhett. Thank you for.. for today', she answered quietly. And then, because she couldn't bear not knowing, she asked 'When will I see you again Rhett? You said that you would come back often enough to keep down the gossip, how often is that?' She hoped that her voice sounded calm, but she rather feared her desolation was all too evident to the man who knew her like no other.

He looked at her pityingly then, and she squirmed inwardly. How she hated to be pitied.

'I won't make you promises I can't keep Scarlett. I will come back when I can bear it', he answered roughly, then he bowed once more and swiftly exited the room.


	2. Scarlett reflects

After Rhett left, Scarlett went home to Tara as she had planned.

When she arrived Mammy took one look at her, ordered her a nice hot bath then sent her to bed.

She slept for fourteen hours. The next morning at breakfast, the bacon and corn grits smelled so good she found she was actually hungry, and she enjoyed her food for the first time since Melly had died.

Everyone was very kind to her, even Suellen. She didn't understand why this was, for she had not realised how pale and thin she was as a result of her recent grief following so closely on from her miscarriage and Bonnie's death. Indeed, she looked very fragile.

However, she was happy enough to be left to rest and enjoy the peace and beauty of the familiar countryside.

Alone with her thoughts, she went over and over her life with Rhett, wondering how she could have been so blind to his love, castigating herself for all the hurt she had caused him. How cruel she had been!

She replayed in her mind their conversation the night of Melly's death, looking for any hope that she could cling to. With despair she recalled his cool indifference to her declarations of love, and with a shudder she remembered his disinterest in her plight.

She recalled that he had accused her of being a child. But of course he knew she was a woman. Anyway, Rhett liked children! What did he mean?

She sighed. She had never understood him. All she knew was that she loved him, and that she was bereft without him. And she didn't have the faintest notion how to win him back.

She wondered whether she should talk to Will. Will understood people, and he was a man. She hesitated to tell him the true state of her marriage, but then, she suspected he had a fair idea anyway. He was one of those people, like Rhett, who didn't need to be told things.

Her opportunity came when Will invited her to accompany him when he took the cart into Jonesboro for stores. Will was a patient man, and they rode in silence for some distance before Scarlett got up the courage to speak.

'Will', she ventured, 'what do you suppose it means when someone calls an adult a child?'

Will gazed out across the fields, chewing a stalk of straw for a good minute before replying.

'Well now Scarlett, you tell me. What are children like?'

She thought of the children she knew, of Wade and Ella, of Beau, of Suellen's children, of Bonnie. What did they have in common? Bonnie had been vivacious and fearless, whereas Wade and Ella were quiet and timid. Suellen and Will's children squabbled constantly, but Beau had beautiful manners.

'Well', she ventured, 'I guess they don't know much'.

Will turned to look her in the eye.

'They don't understand much', he replied. 'They're care mainly about themselves and they don't give much thought to anyone else. Growing up is all about learning to be mindful of others'.

Scarlett felt as though she had been punched in the stomach. Was that how people saw her? Selfish and uncaring? Was that how Rhett saw her? No wonder he had grown tired of her.

As Scarlett thought back over her adult life, her mind went back to that last barbeque at Twelve Oaks. She had certainly been cruel that day, she realised. She had not thought before how the other girls must have felt when she took all their beaux. India Wilkes, for one, had never forgiven her. It must have been a most unhappy day for them all. And perhaps, if she had been more mature, she might have realised the impropriety of her declaration of love to Ashley. How different her life would have been if only she had respected his decision to marry Melly.

And she had actually married Charles Hamilton without any thought for his feelings. She had used him to spite Ashley. Poor Charles, it was lucky he died when he did or she felt sure she would have made his life very miserable.

She had made Frank miserable, she knew. And Suellen. It was really no wonder Suellen hated her. Stealing your sister's fiancee was a mean trick, there was no denying it. If Suellen had done the same to her she would never speak to her again.

And when she had ridden out alone to the mill, it hadn't crossed her mind at all that her actions could affect others.

Then there was Rhett. She had never been mindful of his feelings. She thought with a flush of shame how she had banned him from her bedroom without even pausing to think how he might feel about it. And after Bonnie died, when they were both crazy with grief, she had done nothing to comfort him. 'Be kind to Captain Butler', Melly had said. Melly was kind. Ellen had been kind too – not just to her family but to friends and slaves, and even that white trash Slatterly family. That was what had made them both great ladies, Scarlett realised suddenly. It was their kindness to others, putting others' needs before their own.

With sinking heart, Scarlett acknowledged to herself that Will had described her exactly. She was self centred and thoughtless of others, not like a lady at all. Her mother would be so grieved and ashamed. It was fortunate that she was no longer living to see how her eldest daughter had turned out.

She glanced over at Will. She was relieved to see him paying her no attention at all, apparently focused on driving the cart. Perhaps he had not realised after all that his words were about her.

'I see', she replied, sitting quietly and erect. 'Thank you Will'.


	3. A new start

The next morning Scarlett gathered some flowers to take to her parents' grave.

'Oh Pa', she cried as she sat under the shade of the Mimosa tree which marked the family burial ground, 'nothing has turned out as I expected'. 'I have enough money to make me happy but I find that it doesn't make me happy at all. And I married someone like me and it's brought me nothing but misery. Perhaps you are right about the land being the only thing that matters. It's the only thing that's dependable'.

'And Mother, you tried so hard to make me a lady. I could never see the point of it, but now I do. I have been so mean to everyone who would have been a friend, that now I have no friends left. And I see now why you were always careful to show Pa respect. I never showed Rhett any respect, and he has abandoned me. I've been such a childish fool. Forgive me Mother, for not listening to you. I do want to be a lady'.

She sat quietly at the burial ground for a long time after that, thinking over the changes that were required in her life. She realised she had to change to have any chance of getting Rhett back. She had to show him that she had grown up.

She decided to start practising being thoughtful of others immediately, with those at Tara, and the surrounding county folk. She would start with her own children. Rhett had accused her of being a bad mother, she would show him that he was wrong.

She walked back to the house to find the children. Instead she found Suellen, hanging out the washing.

'Good morning Suellen', she smiled, 'have you seen Wade and Ella?'

'Oh, I saw them a while back. They've gone fishing in the creek with my lot', she replied, 'can't you hear the peace and quiet?'

'Yes, it is peaceful', Scarlett responded. She looked at her sister. Suellen was heavy with child, and her movements were ungainly. She looked tired. 'Can I help hang out the washing?' she asked.

'I won't stop you', Suellen replied.

After they had hung out the washing together they were glad to get back to the cool shade of the house. Scarlett got a cool drink for them both and Suellen was grateful. Scarlett felt a warm glow of satisfaction that she had done something kind for her sister. She let Suellen talk then. Suellen loved to talk, and much of it was complaining, but Scarlett focussed all her energies on listening quietly and politely as she imagined her mother would.

When the children returned, proud of their catch, Scarlett admired their efforts and sent them off to wash for dinner without scolding them for getting so grubby. Later she remembered how Rhett always told the children a bed time story when he was home, and she gathered all the children around for a story. As she tucked Ella into bed the child put her chubby arms around her mother's neck and said 'Thank you Mother for being so nice today'. Scarlett hugged her back and kissed her cheek. 'Good night sweetheart', she said.

Wade was more difficult. 'Uncle Rhett's stories are better,' he said. When are we going to go home to Uncle Rhett?'

'Uncle Rhett is not home at the moment Wade, he had to go away. But he will come back, and I promise we will be there when he comes back'.

After that, it became like a game to Scarlett to see how she could be kind to people. She went visiting all over the county and always showed an interest in what people were doing, and offered to help when she could. She found to her surprise that it brought her pleasure to bring pleasure to others, and many things which she had thought of as chores turned out not to be when they were done with friends.

Then Suellen's baby was born and Scarlett was kept busy helping out with the children. Before she knew it three months had passed, and she began to be anxious to return to Atlanta, lest she be absent when Rhett returned.


	4. Building bridges

Scarlett's heart sank when she returned to her home in Atlanta. It had been her idea of perfection when it was built. But now she found it was full of unhappy memories, a dark and lonely place. She ordered floral arrangements to be placed in every room to brighten it up.

Ella was likewise unenthusiastic about their return. She had enjoyed the carefree time at Tara, away from the tensions of her home in Atlanta, and with plenty of cousins to have fun with.

Only Wade was excited to be back, eager to visit with Beau again and looking forward to seeing his Uncle Rhett.

'Mother, when will Uncle Rhett come home?' he asked for the twentieth time as she tucked him into bed on their fifth night back in Atlanta.

'I don't know honey. Soon I hope.'

Wade frowned. 'He will come back won't he?', he asked, looking at his mother pleadingly with Charles' big brown calf eyes.

Scarlett tried to smile reassuringly. 'Yes, of course he will. He always does, doesn't he?'

'Yes, I suppose he does', Wade conceded. 'But why does he have to go away?'

Now it was Scarlett's turn to frown. 'I don't think I can explain that to you very well Wade, why don't you ask Uncle Rhett when he comes?'

'I did ask Uncle Rhett once', Wade answered. 'but he didn't explain it very well either.'

'Well, perhaps when you are older you will understand', Scarlett sighed. 'But I hope not', she added in her head.

'Good night Wade'. 'Good night Mother'.

No one called on Scarlett in her big empty house. She longed for company, but without Melanie to include her in social gatherings, she realised grimly that she had so offended and ignored all who should have been her friends that she was a social outcast.

In the county it had been relatively easy to show kindness to neighbours and restore neglected friendships, but in Atlanta it proved much more difficult.

When she called on old friends, they looked so uncomfortable and embarrassed by her presence that she eventually stopped visiting. And when she chanced to pass old acquaintances in the street they pretended not to see her; all except for her old enemy India Wilkes who looked at her with such hatred it sent a shiver down her spine.

Scarlett despaired. How could she begin to repair the damage she had done? She thought of Rhett, and how he had successfully won over the old guard when Bonnie was a baby. But Rhett could be so charming, she sighed. She was not sure she wanted to be charming to old dowagers like Mrs Meade and Mrs Merriweather.

How she would like a few friends her age though! Friends like Maybelle and Fanny. It was India Wilkes who turned them all against her, she thought. India who hated her for stealing her beau and for loving Ashley and for being married three times when she, India, had not been married at all. Could she win over India? She wondered. It would certainly be a challenge. She would need to summon all her wits and charm. It would require careful scheming and planning, like planning a war. The more Scarlett thought it over, the more the challenge appealed to her. It was not that she wanted to be friends with India, but she did want to be accepted back into Atlanta society, and the idea of having India eating out of her hand held a certain appeal to her.

She began her quest to conquer India the very next day. Armed with a large bunch of flowers from her garden, she knocked firmly on Aunt Pitty's door. Ashley and Beau were living there now, with Pitty and India, and India was chief housekeeper for them all.

Scarlett knew that Ashley would be at the mill, and Aunt Pitty was likely to be out visiting. India would be home, because the Atlanta Needlecraft Society was meeting there later that morning and India would be supervising the preparations. A curtain flickered but no one opened the door to her. She was not being received, she realised with flaming cheeks.

She knocked again and called out 'India, I know you are there and I am not going away until you open the door to me'.

Still there was no reply. She was angry now, and humiliated. The house was half hers, after all. She had a right to enter, whether India wanted her there or not. She was about to assert this right when she abruptly recalled that she was trying to win India over, not to further offend her.

She settled herself on the top step, hoping that India would not leave her there all morning for her guests to step around.

After half an hour her hopes were realised. India opened the door and hissed, 'Come in then, but only for a few minutes'.

Scarlett took a deep breath and composed herself to be civil.

'Thank you India', she replied, deferentially, and her skirts brushed lightly against India's as she swept past her into the hall.

The two women stood facing each other in the hallway.

'Well?' asked India brusquely.

'India, we grew up as neighbours. My son is your cousin's child. I know that I have given you good reason to dislike me. I have come to say that I do not wish to feud with you, and I would like to offer you an apology for my previous foolish and immature behaviour. In addition, you will be pleased to hear that I have no further designs on your brother and intend to observe all propriety. I hope that one day we can be friends.'

At this she thrust the bouquet into the astonished India's arms and made a swift exit, before India could draw breath to reply, or observe that Scarlett was gritting her teeth in an effort to restrain herself from hurling angry insults.

There was no dramatic change in relations between the two immediately following this visit, but it seemed to Scarlett that India's glares were slightly less icy than before.

Next she set out to make Beau love her, hoping that he would tell his Aunt India nice things about her. On fine Saturdays she invited Beau to accompany her family on their picnics and carriage rides. When the weather kept them inside she taught them card games and board games. She found that Wade and Beau both had sharp minds. They learnt new games quickly and took great pleasure in besting her. When they grew tired of sitting still she let them yahoo around the house and garden, and remembering Melly's example, she even joined in their war games on occasion. She was usually Sherman, chasing them around while shouting blood curdling threats that made them squeal with mock terror. Sometimes Ella would join in too. 'Fight bravely my darlings', Ella would say seriously as she mock farewelled them off to war. Then she would play house with her dolls while she awaited their triumphant return. Because of course they were always triumphant.

Scarlett felt triumphant too. It was hard work getting children to like you but she decided it was definitely worth it when she saw how the children were warming towards her. If only Rhett was there to see her efforts. How his eyes would sparkle with amusement as he followed her campaign. Well, once they would have. She realised on reflection that it was a very long time since Rhett's eyes had sparkled in amusement at anything she said or did. It used to irritate her to think he was laughing at her, but now she felt she would give anything to be able to amuse him again.

Rhett was never far from her thoughts. Where was he? What was he doing? She had not heard from him since his departure after Melly's funeral six months ago, and she ached for him.


	5. An obligation met

Meanwhile, Scarlett had not forgotten her promise to Melly, to take care of Ashley and Beau. But she had been at a loss as to how to best achieve this without her actions being misconstrued. When Wade came over, she made sure he was always well fed, and he never went home empty handed. But she wanted to do more, for Melly.

As she pondered this dilemma, she realised that India was the key to this problem also. She, Scarlett, could have no direct influence on Ashley, and little on Beau, but India could. India was effectively the head of that household, and the only one with any backbone. Scarlett sighed; she would have to work through India.

She dressed carefully for her next visit to Aunt Pitty's house. Respectable, but not flamboyant. She hated to look so drab, but she did not want anything in her appearance to irritate India. At least, not at this delicate stage of negotiations.

She was annoyed when Aunt Pitty answered her knock. Pitty was usually out visiting on Wednesday mornings and Scarlett had thought to catch India alone. But Aunt Pitty was delighted to see her. 'Scarlett!' she exclaimed. 'this is a pleasure. It has been so long since your last visit I thought you had quite forgotten us. Will you take tea with us?'

'Thank you Aunt', Scarlett responded.

Fortunately Aunt Pitty was happy to chatter on and did not ask too many questions of Scarlett. She did enquire after Rhett, but Scarlett merely said he was away on business and she was not sure when he would be back.

Then she invited Scarlett to attend a musical evening at her home, and Scarlett smiled with genuine pleasure as she accepted. It was the first invitation she had received since Melly's death and her heart rose at the thought of being in company again.

India sat quietly listening to the conversation. She looked somewhat uncomfortable as Aunt Pitty offered her invitation, but did not oppose her.

Two days later, Scarlett tried again to catch India alone, and this time she was successful. India greeted her coolly, but did invite her in.

After they had settled themselves in the parlour Scarlett came at once to the point of her visit.

'India', she began, 'I have come about a delicate matter which concerns us both, in which I need your assistance.' India sat poker faced, staring at her intently.

'Just before Melly died, she made me promise to look after Ashley and Beau'. India's eyes widened at this but she gave no other sign of having heard.

'Well, the thing is, that I am sure you will agree it would be most improper for me to be seen to be helping Ashley. If he knew, he would refuse my help anyway. And that is why I need your help. I know that Ashley does not earn a great deal at the mill, and I would like to contribute to the household expenses without his knowledge.'

India glared at her icily. 'We don't need your money. Every one honest is poor these days.'

'Well, that may be so', Scarlett concurred politely. 'But it would so grieve Melly to know that Beau wears trousers that show his ankles and shoes that squeeze his toes. And she begged me to make sure he had a pony and went to college and Europe and all. I'm sure I don't know what to do'.

India blushed with shame that Beau's clothing inadequacies should be noted and spoken of.

Scarlett sat, hands folded politely in her lap, with her most innocent helpless expression on her face, allowing the silence to stretch out.

After a very lengthy silence, she resumed. 'Of course, I will not force you to accept anything from me. I would just like you to know that I am happy to help out should the need arise. Also, I have opened an account for you at Kennedy's store. You are welcome to purchase items there on credit, with no obligation for repayments.'

India chewed her bottom lip as she considered the propriety of accepting Scarlett's offer. It was certainly very generous, and it was such a struggle to make ends meet. But to accept charity!

As if Scarlett had read her thoughts, she continued 'Of course it would not be charity, because Melly was my sister-in-law as well as yours, so it is just family helping family. Please think on it India.'

At that she rose, and made her farewell. She smiled smugly to herself as soon as she was out of the house. India would not be able to resist her offer of free goods from the store, she was sure of it. And some of the weight of responsibility for Ashley and Beau lifted off her shoulders.

The musical evening at Aunt Pitty's the following week was well attended, and Scarlett glowed with happiness to be included. India treated her politely, and others took their lead from India. Finally she felt she was making progress in her quest to reenter society.

And when she visited the store a few days later she smiled with satisfaction to see that India was making good use of the account she had set up for her.


	6. An unhappy Christmas

As Christmas drew near and the weather became steadily colder, Scarlett busied herself with whatever she could. She was always the first to volunteer for any committee or project that would keep her from her dark, empty house. On Mondays the Atlanta Ladies Musical Club met in her home, on Tuesdays she attended the weekly meeting of the Society for the Beautification of the Graves of our Glorious Dead. On Wednesdays she went visiting, and on Thursdays she visited the store. On Fridays she played bridge, and Saturdays she spent with the children. Sundays she devoted to letter writing. She wrote to her aunts every week, and also to Will and Suellen at Tara. Sometimes she wrote to other county folk like the Old and Young Misses, and the Tarleton girls. Once she even wrote to Cathleen Calvert. She wrote to Rhett every Sunday too, but she never posted those letters. She knew he did not want to hear from her, and she did not wish to irritate him. She always burnt her letters to Rhett as soon as she had written them, but somehow she felt better for having written them.

She planned an elaborate Christmas celebration at her home. There was an enormous Christmas tree which she and the children had spent a whole day decorating. And there were wreaths and Nativity scenes and gay streamers. She had invited Aunt Pitty, India, Ashley and Beau, and they had actually accepted her invitation! Scarlett was determined that everything should be perfect for their first Christmas without Melly.

Finally Christmas day arrived. Scarlett greeted her guests warmly. Aunt Pitty was effusive in her thanks for Scarlett's hospitality and bubbling with childlike excitement. Beau said 'Hello Aunt Scarlett, thank you for having us' then ran off immediately to find Wade. Ashley and India stood with quiet dignity. Scarlett thought that they both looked rather pale and joyless, but then, the Wilkes were a pale lot, and they had had a difficult year. She clasped one of their hands in each of hers and said 'How kind of you to come, do come and warm yourselves by the fire'.

The servants had worked all day to prepare a magnificent eight course feast.

As the evening wore on, the guests became progressively more relaxed and happy with every course. The wine was excellent, and when they reached dessert, Ashley stood to his feet to propose a toast. 'To our dear Scarlett, may you always be surrounded by loving friends', he said. 'To Scarlett', the others echoed, as they drank her health.

'And now let's drink to the new year, may it be better than the last one', Scarlett responded. 'I'll drink to that', Ashley replied with a sad smile.

Then India stood to her feet. I would like to propose a toast too', she announced. 'To absent friends'. There was a brief pause as they each thought of all the loved ones no longer with them; especially they thought of Melly, whose ghost seemed very close at that moment. And Scarlett thought of Rhett.

'To absent friends', they all murmured as they clinked their glasses together.

At that moment there was a loud crash in the hall. They looked at each other in alarm. 'It's probably just a servant dropped something', said Scarlett lightly. 'Excuse me for a moment'. But as she rose to her feet, the dining room door swung open and Rhett staggered in, looking very drunk, unshaven and disshevelled.

'Well, well, what a pretty scene', he slurred. 'Good evening Mr Wilkes, ladies.' He removed his hat and attempted a somewhat unsteady bow.

'Hello Rhett', said Scarlett levelly. She was shocked at his appearance. Her heart thumped forcefully in her chest. She glared at him, embarrassed that he would show himself in such a state, annoyed at him for disrupting her party, and afraid of what he may do next.

'Oh dear me', trilled Aunt Pitty nervously, 'Oh dear dear me', and then she swooned. India busied herself in an attempt to revive her with smelling salts.

Ashley rose slowly to his feet. 'Good evening Captain Butler', he responded. 'We have had a very pleasant evening, but now it is late and we must be going. I hope we will see you again soon.' He turned to Scarlett. 'Thank you my dear, it was most enjoyable. Please be so kind as to call for our carriage.'

After she had farewelled her guests, Scarlett hurried back to the dining room to find Rhett. He was sitting at the table, head in his hands, but he looked up at her entrance.

Scarlett's green eyes flashed angrily; 'Rhett, why did you have to do that? It is Christmas Rhett, in case you hadn't noticed, Christmas! And I had gone to a lot of trouble to make sure that Melly's family had a pleasant evening. We were having such a lovely time until you came and ruined it. How could you?'

Rhett glared at her darkly, then he got up and started to pace up and down the room in an agitated manner. Suddenly he turned and snarled at her 'I wouldn't expect you to understand. You've never understood'. And he gave the dining table an angry shove. The remains of the dessert went crashing to the floor along with all the cutlery and crockery. Jelly whip and cream splattered on the wallpaper. Scarlett jumped back, narrowly avoiding getting her toes caught under the edge of the table as it fell.

Rhett surveyed the chaos then sat down abruptly on the floor with his head in his hands, back against the wall. Scarlett studied him. Where was his biting repartee, his witty cutdown? He was clearly intoxicated, but she had seen him intoxicated before, and he had not looked like this. He looked . . .defeated. At that realisation her heart went out to him, her anger melting away. Cautiously she knelt before him. 'Rhett, what's wrong?', she whispered as she reached towards his arm. But he flinched as her finger tips grazed his forearm. 'Don't touch me', he growled irritably, turning from her.

She stepped away from him and sank onto a dining chair. She did not move then. She hardly breathed. She wanted so much to go to him, but he didn't want her and she didn't want to make him leave.

After a long time Rhett raised his head and ran his fingers through his hair.

'Forgive me Scarlett, I am not myself tonight,' he said in a quiet, carefully controlled voice. 'I am exceedingly drunk, as you have no doubt noticed. Shall I tell you why?' Scarlett nodded wordlessly. 'Belle is dying. She has not been well for a while and …' He looked away briefly and then rushed on 'and I have been caring for her. Dr Meade came today. He said she has a tumour. There is no hope. And she is in such awful pain I cannot bear it'. He looked at her then, a wild, hurting look.

Scarlett breathed in and out, in and out. Carefully controlled breaths, as she digested this news. Rhett had been in town for goodness knows how long, with Belle, and she hadn't known! She was hurt at that, despite herself. But Belle was dying. That brought her guilty pleasure. She had always resented Belle for being better at loving Rhett than she had been. Maybe without Belle to turn to there was a chance Rhett might come back to her.

She looked at him again. She had never seen him look so unhappy. and she saw then, with a heavy heart, how deeply he cared for Belle. Grimly she acknowledged to herself that Belle had been more of a wife to him than she had ever been. Belle had comforted him and loved him when she herself had rejected him. But soon, she reminded herself, Belle would be dead. Her mind raced as she considered how best to respond, in a way that would be best for Rhett and win his respect. She wanted to tell him to stay away from that whore, but she knew he would take no heed of her.

'Ah Rhett', she sighed eventually, 'you must be strong. She has always been there for you. You must be there for her.'

Rhett frowned in an effort to focus his befuddled brain to make sense of her words, so unexpected were they. She studied him in return, and was reminded how very intoxicated he was. She added hastily, 'But not tonight. Tonight you need to sleep. Tomorrow you must go to her. I will get Pork to help you to bed'.

She walked to the door, then turned and said, 'It is good to see you. I have missed you'. She summoned Pork and then walked gracefully up the stairs, chin up and back straight. Silent tears coursed down her cheeks unchecked, as she cried for her ruined dinner party, for her ruined marriage, and for her husband's suffering.


	7. Rhett is ill

Rhett was already gone when Scarlett rose the next morning. At least she knew where he was now, she thought with a wry smile.

The house seemed very empty without him, and she renewed her efforts to be the busiest woman in Atlanta. She visited the lonely and the sick, though not Belle of course. And she found again that bringing pleasure to others brought pleasure to her also. She visited Aunt Pitty and India while Ashley was out at the mills. She avoided Ashley as much as she could. She could not bear his sympathetic looks. But Aunt Pitty and India behaved as if nothing was amiss, merely enquiring in passing after Captain Butler's health. Scarlett was tempted to reply 'I'd be the last to know, he's living in a brothel', but she held her tongue and answered tactfully and vaguely that she believed him to be well.

When she called on Mrs Meade she happened to catch Dr Meade at home also. She longed to ask him if Belle was really dying and if he had been there lately. She longed to ask after Rhett, but she would not humiliate herself that far. But surely, she thought to herself, Dr Meade knows that Rhett is living there. And her cheeks burned with shame.

Dr Meade was a wise old doctor who had seen much and understood much. He saw her discomfort and guessed the direction of her thoughts. His patients' secrets were of course safe with him, but Rhett was not his patient.

'Scarlett', he said, 'I am concerned about your husband, He is heedless of his own wellbeing. He is drinking heavily and neglecting himself. If you have any influence with him you should encourage him to take more care.'

'Oh Dr Meade', Scarlett responded. She was about to say Rhett would not listen to anything she said and anyway she never saw him, but she caught herself in time and instead mumbled 'Thank you. I will try'.

The first day of February had been wild and stormy. Scarlett was looking forward to getting home after her trip to the store. It was really not good weather to be out in. She would change out of her damp clothing, then curl up in front of the fire with a cup of hot chocolate to warm her frozen fingers, while she waited for dinner to be served.

As she entered the house however, she was surprised to see a man's hat and coat hanging dripping wet in the hall. She paused for a minute to inspect them, hardly daring to hope that they might be Rhett's. She had just come to the conclusion that they did in fact belong to her estranged husband when she heard a cough coming from the library. It was Rhett. 'I hope he is not too drunk today', she thought to herself. Cautiously she opened the library door. Rhett was sitting in his armchair drinking. He did not smile at her but his voice bore her no malice as he addressed her; 'Mrs Butler, as you see, the gentleman of the house is at home. Do come and join me.'

'Hello Rhett', she said. 'How are you?'

'I am tired and pleasantly intoxicated', he answered. He poured a drink and passed it to her as she sat down opposite him. She saw that he did indeed look tired.

'Well I will try not to spoil your pleasant evening', she smiled.

'I did not say I was having a pleasant evening Scarlett, I said I was pleasantly intoxicated, which is not the same thing.'

'Oh', she said, and her brow wrinkled as she tried to grasp his implication.

Rhett took another swig of brandy. He coughed again, and it was a deep, rattly cough. Scarlett suddenly remembered Dr Meade's warning, and she looked at him carefully. 'Are you unwell, Rhett?', she asked.

'No, it's a slight cough, that is all', he replied. 'But I am very tired. Belle was buried today and it has not been easy. I will sleep well tonight and then I will leave in the morning.'

He pushed himself out of the chair and headed for the door. He paused there and turned. 'Goodnight Madam', he said formally, and Scarlett was left alone as he headed up the stairs.

Rhett did sleep well that night but he did not leave in the morning. He found himself even more tired the next day than he had been the previous evening. He announced that he had postponed his departure to the following morning, and proceded to spend the day at home drinking. His cough grew worse and the following night his sleep was restless, disturbed by bouts of coughing which were heard all over the house.

The next morning Rhett did not get up. His manservant reported that he was more unwell. Scarlett doubted that he would want to see her, but she was worried about him, so she went and stood outside his door. It was so unlike Rhett to be sick. In all the years she had known him she did not recall him having so much as a head cold. Cautiously she peeped in. He was lying propped up on pillows, with his eyes closed. His forehead was beaded in perspiration and his breathing was fast and shallow. He must have sensed her presence, for he opened his eyes and turned his head towards her.

'Rhett, you are unwell', she said, as she cautiously approached his bed.

'An unfortunate fact', he replied flatly.

'Dr Meade said you would get unwell because you haven't been looking after yourself.'

'Indeed', he answered.

They studied each other in silence for a few moments. There was something discomforting to Scarlett to see Rhett looking so helpless. This Rhett had no strength to argue with her or to shelter and protect her. He had nothing, in fact to give her. On the contrary, she realised with a shock that he needed her to be strong for him.

But he was a proud man, she thought with a sigh, he would never admit to his need.

'Rhett', she pleaded, 'let me look after you. I am a good nurse'.

He smiled weakly. 'You, a good nurse!' he mocked. 'You were the most reluctant nurse in all Atlanta'.

'Well, maybe,' she acknowledged, with a rueful smile. 'But I couldn't abide that nasty war hospital and all those moaning soldiers with bits missing. It was all just too terrible'. She shuddered at the memory.

'Yes', he responded. 'Well at least I still have all my bits'. And he smiled at her again, the little half smile that she knew so well. She had not seen him smile like that for so long she almost forgot he was unwell. But then he had another bout of coughing and expectorated some thick green sputum onto his hankerchief and she was brought back to reality. He leaned back onto his pillows weakly and gasped, 'There, I bet you are disgusted and want to leave now.'

'Do you want me to leave?' she asked softly. He looked at her for a long time, and she held his gaze. 'No', he replied at last, almost reluctantly.

And so she stayed, and as she did all those nursing duties that she had done for the Confederate soldiers, she marvelled that it was not a chore to do those same things for Rhett. She gladly sponged his brow, and gave him cool water to drink, and helped him change into a clean nightgown, and plumped up his pillows for him. When he slept, she sat patiently at his bedside, and when he woke she smiled at him tenderly.

In the evening he was restless and seemed agitated. When he asked again for a drink Scarlett held up the glass of water to his lips, but he turned his head away. 'Please Scarlett, get me some brandy'.

Scarlett hesitated. Dr Meade had said that Rhett drank too much, and it was bad for him. She wasn't sure it was the best thing for an invalid. But Rhett pressed her; 'Please Scarlett, I really need a drink, please get me a little brandy'. She relented, because she wanted to please him, and as the warming liquid passed his lips he seemed to relax and she felt that maybe she had done the right thing. He slept for a little after that, but his sleep was punctuated by a hacking cough and his breath came in short rapid gasps.

That night Scarlett made her bed in Rhett's room, on the mattress which had been Bonnie's. Some time in the early hours of the morning she woke to the sound of the bed rattling. She sat up and reached out towards Rhett. He was shivering violently and his teeth were chattering, but his skin was burning hot to touch. 'Rhett?' she whispered. 'I am so cold', he murmured in reply, 'so cold'. 'But you feel hot Rhett', she said with alarm, 'You have a raging fever'.

And then he whispered, so quietly that she almost thought she had imagined it 'Hold me Scarlett, I am so cold'. Slowly she came towards him. It had been so long since they had shared a bed, she wondered if he really meant it. She half expected him to flinch at her touch again and turn away as he had at Christmas, but he lay in her arms shivering without protest. Gradually the shivering subsided and he drifted off to sleep again. Scarlett lay still, afraid to move lest she disturb him. How wonderful it was to be curled up next to Rhett.

The next morning Rhett was even more unwell. He had a high fever and was agitated and confused. His eyes darted around the room and he appeared to be hallucinating. His breathing was more laboured and he coughed frequently, though more weakly than before. Scarlett sent urgently for Dr Meade.

Dr Meade was grave. 'Scarlett, Captain Butler is extremely unwell. It is as I had feared, he has let himself get so run down that pneumonia has taken hold. He has a severe case, and is also suffering from acute alcohol withdrawal. I will leave you this draught for him which you must administer whenever he is agitated. It will help to calm him. I will call again tomorrow.'

Scarlett thanked the doctor and saw him out. Rhett was very agitated when she returned, calling out and trying to climb out of bed. It was all she could do to get him to take a teaspoon of the draught Dr Meade had left. Finally he lay calmly again and Scarlett dozed in a chair.

She woke some time later to hear Rhett shouting 'Let me go, let me go', as he struggled against three servants who were trying to administer his draught. 'Let him go', she ordered sharply, and as they did so he fell back at once into his pillows, exhausted. Then she coaxed him to swallow the draught, and he drifted off to sleep.

For the next two days Scarlett did not leave his side. Dr Meade came again and said there was nothing more to be done. Rhett raged incoherently for the most part, tossing and turning, trembling and sweating. At times he seemed to believe he was blockade running or back in the last days of the war. He would shout such things as 'Quick, man the guns' or 'Look out, we've been seen' or 'Hide the gold man' or just, 'Run, run'. He would look alarmed and Scarlett would hasten to administer the draught. Once he cried out 'No Bonny, no', then mumbled 'dark, dark' over and over as he thrashed around in the bed. At other times he would say women's names. 'I'm sorry Letitia', or 'Mary, Mary', or 'Oh Julia'. He mentioned a great many women's names, and some were foreign and strange to Scarlett's ears, like Mireille and Chantal and Madeleine. Sometimes he wept, and called Scarlett's name over and over. And often he called for Belle. 'Hold me Belle', he would say, 'I can't bear it any longer.' Through it all, Scarlett sat by his side, wiping his fevered brow, giving him water, holding his hand and saying 'Hush, Rhett, I am here'.

On the seventh day of his illness the raging stopped, and he lay still and pale. His breathing was fast and shallow and there were dark shadows under his eyes. He did not respond at all to those around him, and Scarlett was afraid. She had seen men die of pneumonia in the hospital and they had looked just like this. Dr Meade came and confirmed her fears. 'He is close to death Scarlett', he said. 'I fear he will not survive the night'. Then he added 'but if he is still alive in the morning he may pull through'.

That night Scarlett lay in the dark listening to his breathing. Every so often it would pause and Scarlett would sit up in alarm, waiting for the next breath. As the pauses became more frequent she went to him and brushed his face gently with her hand. 'Rhett', she whispered softly, 'Rhett, please don't leave me'. He did not respond.

Becoming desperate, she slapped his cheek hard. 'Rhett Butler', she yelled at him, 'don't you dare take the easy way out. Fight Rhett, fight for your life. Don't be such a coward. There's plenty of life left in you yet. I refuse to let you die. Fight! Come back to me!' His eyelids flickered slightly, but he gave no other sign of having heard her. However after that his breathing was more regular, and in the morning he was still alive.

From then on he gradually improved. The fever subsided, the breathing became less laboured. He still slept a lot, but he had periods of alertness, in which his eyes followed Scarlett as she moved around the room.

One day after she had plumped up his pillows for him he leaned back into them gratefully and said 'Thank you for your kindness Scarlett. You have been very kind to me and I do not deserve it.'

'Nonsense Rhett', she replied.

'Don't ever be afraid to be kind my dear. All truly great people are kind'.

Finally the day came when he was well enough to sit up in a chair.

'Scarlett', he said, as they sat together on the balcony outside his room, 'I fear I have imposed on your hospitality long enough. I will go to my mother's house in Charleston to complete my convalescence.'

'Don't be silly Rhett', she responded. 'This is your home. You needn't run away.'

'Ah, but I must, all the same', he answered, not looking at her. He leaned back and took a puff of his cigar, then was seized by a bout of coughing.

When he had recovered his breath, Scarlett said 'Rhett, you wouldn't make it to the front door, you can't possibly go to Charleston'.

But he responded firmly, 'I will go to Charleston Scarlett, as soon as I can walk to the front door'. 'Also', he added after a short pause, 'I must request that you respect the privacy of my bedroom'.

Scarlett felt his words like a physical blow. She took a few moments to compose herself before asking quietly 'Do you still dislike me so much Rhett?'.

Rhett sighed, then replied with studied nonchalence; 'Scarlett, my dear, you are even now such a charming innocent. Explanations are so tedious, but I see that I must explain. Firstly, I must point out that I have never professed dislike towards you, merely indifference. And now I find myself in a position of weakness, quite unable to defend myself again your charms. I am fearful of losing my heart to you again, and so I must remove myself until I am strong enough to withstand temptation.'

'Oh', she answered, and her mouth made a little 'o' as she tried to decide whether she should be pleased or upset at this news. He was still attracted to her, but he was afraid to love her!

'But Rhett', she responded, 'Don't be afraid. I would do anything for you'.

'Anything Scarlett?' His eyebrows rose and his lips curved up slightly. 'That is a generous offer. I may take you up on that sometime, but for now all I ask is that you let me go'.

'But Rhett, that's the hardest thing you could ask of me.'

'You just said you would do anything for me. But I see you didn't mean it', he smirked.

'Oh very well then, go to your mother's. But don't forget you promised to come back from time to time'.

'Yes I intend to, when I am stronger.'

'Wade misses you', she said suddenly. Rhett avoided her gaze and took another puff on his cigar.

'Yes', he replied eventually, and she wondered what he meant.

They lapsed into silence then, each lost in their own thoughts.

Scarlett thought first of Wade, and how disappointed he would be that Rhett was leaving again so soon, before he was well enough to spend time with him. She was disappointed herself too of course. Rhett was still far from well. But once his mind was made up there was no reasoning with him. She sighed. How lonely she would be without him. But at least he had promised to come back, and even better, he had admitted that he was still attracted to her.

Rhett was thinking how beautiful she was in the afternoon sun, and what a change had come over her since she let go of her childish obsession with Ashley Wilkes. Could he trust his heart to her again? He still carried the pain of all the previous hurt she had inflicted on him. She could be so cruel. He decided he was a fool to be attracted to her. He was like a moth foolishly drawn to a flame who kept returning to be injured again. He felt so tired. Yes, he needed to get away.

Three days later Rhett took his departure. He moved like an old man as he bent carefully to hug Ella goodbye. 'Goodbye Uncle Rhett' she said in her high pitched girly voice. He seemed to her so unlike his usual self that she was a little afraid of him. Wade stood next to his sister. Rhett pretended not to notice the tears in his eyes as he gave him a manly handshake and a pat on the back. 'Goodbye Wade, look after your mother for me while I am away', he said seriously. 'Yes, sir', Wade responded, and his shoulders went back proudly.

Scarlett accompanied him to the station. His forehead was beaded with perspiration by the time he was settled in the railway carriage. He was panting and his face was grey. He leaned back against the seat and shut his eyes for a moment, then opened them again to see Scarlett appraising him anxiously.

'Don't look so stricken my dear', he said, between breaths. 'I am perfectly well enough to sit all day in a railway carriage. Please smile for me'. She raised her eyebrows skeptically without smiling.

Just then the train whistle blew.

'Well goodbye then', he said roughly. Scarlett placed her hand over his and said softly, 'Good bye Rhett, take care'. Then she did smile at him, but it was a sorrowful smile, full of longing for him and pain at his leaving. He flicked his hand to motion her away, and she left.


	8. Keeping up appearances

After Rhett left, Scarlett directed her energies once more towards restoring her reputation and rebuilding friendships. She could be charming when she set her mind to it, and it was not long before she was once again busy with a whirlwind of social activities. Not only that, but old friends would now call on her at home, and her house seemed a little less empty than previously.

She also embarked on a major project to redecorate her home in a less showy and more tasteful manner. Unconsciously, she was trying to erase some unpleasant memories that the house held for her. She enlisted Maybelle and Fanny's help with choosing the furnishings, and together they spent many happy hours browsing catalogues and considering their options. Eventually they chose a cream base with spring green and sunny yellow highlights. All three were delighted with the finished result. It was so much more cheerful and homely than gilt mirrors and wall to wall deep red carpet. She hoped that Rhett would approve, but, she realised guiltily, she knew of little of his tastes.

Of course, she still missed Rhett. The first anniversary of Bonnie's death had been especially difficult. She had hoped that Rhett might come back for it but he hadn't. She had visited Bonnie's grave alone and left flowers, and felt lonely and sorrowful all day.

She kept thinking of how unwell Rhett had looked when she farewelled him on the train. That had been months ago. She hoped he had found the sea air agreeable and was now fully recovered. She hoped he was not drinking too much. She hoped he thought of her. She hoped he would feel strong enough to visit soon.

And then, one evening as she was eating a lonely dinner, quite suddenly he was there. The sight of him took her breath away. His frame was athletic looking and he moved lightly on his feet. He looked full of health and vigor, immaculately groomed and swarthy.

'Good evening Scarlett', he drawled elegantly. 'I have returned as promised to safeguard your reputation. I will stay for one week'.

Scarlett smiled at him warmly. 'You are looking well Rhett. How good it is to see you.'

'Well, I warn you I have no intention of succumbing to your charms, many though they are', he declared, and he kissed the back of her hand lightly.

'Do sit down Rhett. Would you like some dinner?' she asked.

'Thank you, yes', he replied.

They chatted comfortably together as they ate. Rhett complimented her on the redecoration, and Scarlett regaled him with tales of the children's exploits and community happenings.

Rhett had timed his visit to coincide with Ella's birthday. When he produced some balloons for the party, Ella was speechless with wonder. No one in Atlanta had ever seen balloons before, and so Rhett was very popular, especially when he allowed the children to play with the balloons and even joined in their fun.

He made sure that he and Scarlett were seen together frequently during that week. Often they would go out walking, pausing to greet neighbours along the way. And they attended every social gathering that they reasonably could. Rhett was constantly on his best behaviour, charming and courteous to all, and people started to think again that he was a fine specimen of a man and that Scarlett was a fortunate woman to be married to him.

On Saturday they went riding with the children. Wade and Ella rode their ponies and Rhett rode beside them on his big black stallion. Scarlett rode her mare side saddle and thought what a pretty picture they made together. When they stopped to water the horses, Rhett took Wade aside and taught him how to use a pistol. Wade blossomed under Rhett's attention, and Scarlett noticed for the first time that he was on the cusp of manhood.

In the evenings Rhett regaled them with the most thrilling adventure stories. Wade sat wide eyed and entranced during these sessions. Scarlett enjoyed them equally well, for they gave her an opportunity to gaze on Rhett and admire him unobtrusively. He was so elegant, so manly, so handsome, that she wanted him more than ever. But he would never allow his eyes to linger on her. Afterwards he always he bid her a polite goodnight, and retired to his room, leaving her feeling restless and unsatisfied.

Rhett maintained his polite, detached demeanour all week. When the week was up, he took his leave, saying 'Well, my dear, I hope you are satisfied that I have done my duty. I played the role of devoted husband and father rather well, don't you think? I am sure there will be no unpleasant rumours regarding the state of our marriage for some time to come. And of course I will return again, periodically, as promised, to maintain the charade.'

Scarlett looked at him longingly. 'Oh, Rhett', she began. But he placed his finger on her lips to silence her. 'Please Scarlett, don't, or I shall have to say something hurtful and I have no wish to be unpleasant.'

Then he took her hand and bowed over it, allowing his moustache to brush the back of it. 'Good bye, my dear', he said. And he turned, put on his coat and hat, and left.

Wade was miserable after Rhett left. He moped around the house asking 'Mother why did Uncle Rhett go again so soon?', 'Why does he always have to go away?' 'When will he come back?' 'Doesn't Uncle Rhett like us Mother?'

His constant questions irritated Scarlett immensely, because they were echoes of her own feelings.

Eventually she suggested to Wade that he write to Rhett, hoping that it would give him some outlet for his feelings. She posted Wade's letters to Rhett care of his mother in Charleston. No one was more surprised than Scarlett however, when letters for Wade started arriving, addressed in Rhett's bold hand.

She wondered what he wrote about, and once she searched Wade's room looking for Rhett's letters, but they were nowhere to be found. 'What does Uncle Rhett write about?' she asked Wade. But Wade was not forthcoming. 'Uncle Rhett said it's secret between me and him', he replied.

Scarlett sighed with frustration. Rhett still knew how to infuriate her, she mused, and was probably enjoying it too.

The next time a letter arrived for Wade Scarlett surruptitiously opened it herself while Wade was outdoors. But she was disappointed and puzzled to find that it made no sense to her, being a random jumble of letters not forming proper words. Could Wade understand that nonsense? she wondered. How like Rhett to be so mysterious. She folded it and carefully replaced it in the envelope. When she gave the letter to Wade that afternoon, she said it appeared to have been damaged in the post. Wade studied the neatly torn envelope and looked at her strangely. 'Thank you Mother', he said politely, and disappeared off to his room to decipher it.


	9. Remembering Bonnie

It was three months before Rhett returned again, on the eve of what would have been Bonnie's sixth birthday. Scarlett had been restless and unhappy all day, thinking of Bonnie. She had just sat down at the piano to calm herself with some music after dinner when Rhett arrived, unannounced.

'Oh, hello,' he said in that offhand way that infuriated her. He settled himself in an armchair while she observed him over the piano. He was immaculately groomed as usual, with a studied nonchalence that irritated Scarlett no end. He pulled a cigar from his cigar case, smelt it appreciatively then lit it, leaning back in his chair as he did. How could he look so at ease, Scarlett thought, as if he had not a care in the world. Did he really not care about anything?

'Please, don't let me interrupt you,' he said. But she just sat at the piano, not moving. She had wanted to play for herself, not for him. How could she relax and block out her thoughts with him there?

'Come, Scarlett,' he coaxed, 'play for me.'

'I don't feel like playing now', she said.

He raised an eyebrow at her but did not speak. They sat in silence for a while then, with him puffing on his cigar, and Scarlett quietly sitting at the piano, irritated by his composure, and wondering how she would get through the next day.

Eventually Scarlett broke the silence. 'Do you realise it would have been Bonnie's sixth birthday tomorrow?' she asked quietly.

Rhett snuffed out his cigar violently and swore vehemently, all traces of imperturbability gone in a flash. 'What kind of a man do you take me for? Of course I know, how could I ever forget my daughter's birthday? Do you think I've thought of anything else all day, all week?' he retorted angrily. 'I think of her every day.'

Scarlett bit her lower lip. She had not meant to upset him. Upset as she already was herself, it was almost too much for her. She turned her head away so he could not see her face.

Rhett observed her. 'Forgive me Scarlett, I did not mean to snap,' he said gently. 'I just.. I can't talk about her'.

'I miss her too Rhett,' she whispered.

'Well at least you're not the one that killed her,' he growled.

Scarlett's head spun around and her eyes flashed at him. 'Rhett,' she exclaimed, 'You did not kill her. I was crazy with grief and I wanted to hurt you when I said that. I know you would never have done anything to harm her. It was an accident Rhett, just a terrible accident. It was nobody's fault.'

Rhett sighed. 'No, it was my fault,' he responded bitterly. 'I shouldn't have let her jump but I could never say no to her. I wanted her to have everything she wanted.'

'She was so beautiful wasn't she?' Scarlett whispered.

'Yes', said Rhett dully, grinding the end of his used cigar butt into the ashtray. 'And brave, charming, vivacious, affectionate, amusing.' He released the cigar butt and looked directly at Scarlett. 'I was so proud of her,' he said quietly, and Scarlett saw the pain in his eyes.

When he asked her again to play for him, she understood that he needed the music as much as she did. And so she played. After a while she almost forgot he was there, she became so caught up in the music. On and on she played, wanting the music to fill her, to calm her, to stop her from thinking useless painful thoughts.

When finally she stopped, it was late. Rhett rose to his feet. 'Thank you my dear,' he said gravely. Then he bowed and left the room.

The following morning when Scarlett came down for breakfast, Rhett was out. The servants said that he had left early, on foot. She guessed that he had gone to the cemetery to visit Bonnie's grave, just as she was planning to. When she arrived, she saw that she had been right. Rhett was there, standing motionless in front of Bonnie's little grave, his coat tails flapping in the breeze. She laid some flowers by Bonnie's headstone, then stood back beside him to gaze upon the grave, lost in sad thoughts of Bonnie. After some time she turned with tear filled eyes to look at Rhett. She saw her own pain and grief mirrored in his eyes.

They stood there silently for a few seconds, observing each other.

Then Rhett stepped towards her and silently drew her to him. He stroked her hair gently. Hot tears flowed freely down Scarlett's cheeks. No one could comfort her like Rhett. How good it felt to be in his arms. They stood like that before Bonnie's grave for a long time, drawing comfort and strength from each other in their shared sorrow.

Then they walked home together, but they didn't speak. Scarlett, for once, could think of nothing to say.

Rhett left that afternoon, still in a solemn, quiet mood. He kissed the back of her hand as he bade her farewell.


	10. Desire

When Rhett returned for Wade's 14th birthday, he presented Wade with a horse of his own. Then he spent hours patiently teaching him to be an excellent horseman. Scarlett felt a little left out, but she pretended not to mind and spent the time with Ella. She taught Ella some pretty piano duets that they could play together. Then Ella had the idea of a musical evening, just for the four of them. Ella wrote invitations to Rhett and Wade in her best cursive writing, to join them in the parlour that evening.

They all dressed in evening wear. The evening program began with Ella and Scarlett playing their duets. Rhett and Wade applauded appreciatively. Then Wade played the clarinet, and following that Wade and Ella sang together while Scarlett accompanied them on the piano. Then Rhett urged Scarlett to sing and play for them. As her voice rose and fell Rhett could not take his eyes off her. When the song ended, he hastened to break the mood. He stood up and announced 'Now I would like to sing you a new song called 'The Daring Young Man on the Flying Trapeze'.' His voice ran out, loud and clear, as he sang unaccompanied;

'He floats through the air  
With the greatest of ease  
The daring young man  
On the flying trapeze  
His movements are graceful  
He tries hard to please  
I know that he must be the best'

This time it was Scarlett's turn to be entranced. How nice to hear a song that wasn't about war or broken hearts or yearning for the old days. What a deep, rich voice he had. It sent shivers of pleasure down her spine. As the song ended, Rhett bowed deeply and they all laughed and clapped.

After Wade and Ella had gone off to bed, Rhett invited Scarlett to join him for a nightcap. It was the first time Rhett had not disappeared to his room as soon as the children went to bed, and Scarlett accepted his invitation readily.

As they sat together in the candlelight however, there was a tension between them.

It had been such a pleasant evening, but now, without the children, there was nothing to distract them from awareness of the other. Rhett lit a cigar and his eyes flicked over her, but he said nothing. Scarlett's chest rose and fell rapidly as she sought to maintain her composure.

Rhett saw her discomposure and it added to his own. She was a beautiful woman, he thought, even more now than when he first knew her. He eyed her appreciatively. She was strong, resilient, passionate. . .

He stood abruptly and pushed his chair back. 'Forgive me, I find I must retire after all. Good night.' And he hastily retreated to his room, leaving Scarlett alone, wondering what had gone wrong.

The next morning Rhett was not home when Scarlett got up, and she wondered if he had left town again. But he returned in the afternoon, saying he had been riding. He seemed pensive on his return, and Scarlett left him to smoke on the veranda.

At dinner that night, he announced that he would be leaving the following morning. 'But Rhett', Scarlett protested, 'you said you would stay until Saturday'.

'My plans have changed,' he replied abruptly.

She took a deep breath. Disappointment showed clearly on her face but she responded calmly, 'Very well, Rhett, do what you must'.

'Thank you my dear', he said quietly.

She looked at him sharply. Sometimes he seemed almost to love her, yet at other times he couldn't stand to be in same room as her. It was most confusing.

Rhett caught the early train to Charleston the following morning, and Scarlett was left feeling bereft again. To distract herself, she visited the store and spent the morning pouring over the accounts. Business was going well and it did cheer her somewhat to see that she was making a tidy profit. She spent some time serving behind the counter while Willie was at lunch, and found that she was actually enjoying herself.

After lunch she came home and sat in the shade on the back veranda with a cool drink. However she could never quite enjoy the view of the garden without visualising Bonnie's lifeless form sprawled on the grass, so after she had finished her drink she walked down into the garden to find a shady spot. As she sat under a tree, her thoughts turned again to Rhett. She wondered what he did when he was away, and whether he was happy. He certainly looked well. She sighed. He was so secretive, she sometimes felt she hardly knew him at all. She wondered if life would go on forever as it was now, with an aching void between them.


	11. Reconciliation

The following morning Scarlett attended the weekly meeting of the floral society. She arrived home with a huge ornate floral arrangement that she had made. As she entered the parlour to place it on the occasional table, she was startled to find Rhett sitting in his armchair, reading the newspaper.

'Rhett, what are you doing here?', she exclaimed.

'Does my presence disturb you?' he asked, lowering the newspaper.

'No', she replied. 'But you just left. I wasn't expecting you'.

He paused. 'Do you mind if I smoke?' He pulled out a cigar and lit it without waiting for a reply. He lent back in his chair and inhaled deeply.

Scarlett placed the floral arrangement on the table and sat down opposite him. She observed him in silence. He seemed somehow on edge despite his calm exterior. The cigar had burnt half down before he spoke.

'Should I need to explain my presence in my own home?' he mused, eying her. 'All the same, I will explain. The fact is, Scarlett, that I missed you, and I wanted to see you again so I came back'.

He paused again. Scarlett's mind raced as she wondered at the meaning behind his words.

'I do miss you Scarlett', he continued. 'I miss you very much.'

'Oh Rhett', she responded, 'I miss you too'. And she moved towards him, but he put a hand up to stop her.

'Wait!', he said. 'I am not finished.' She sank back onto her chair. Rhett fixed his gaze on her and continued, 'When I left after Melly died I believed you incapable of love, except for the self-serving kind. Your profession of love meant nothing to me. But over the past two years you have shown me that I was wrong. You have loved me when I was at my worst; in a drunken rage, weak and sick, ill mannered, crazy with grief, cold and indifferent. You loved me through all of that, though your love was unrequited.'

Scarlett drew breath to ask what unrequited meant, but Rhett anticipated her question and answered before she spoke. 'That means you didn't receive any love in return.'

'Oh,' she said.

Pausing again, he inhaled deeply on his cigar, then slowly exhaled. Scarlett sat nervously on the edge of her chair, her heart pounding so loudly she thought surely he could hear it. What was he leading up to? He continued, 'Scarlett, when I was ill you said you would do anything for me. Do you still feel like that?'

Scarlett bit her bottom lip and tilted her head at him. 'Perhaps that offer was a little generous Rhett. I'm not sure I trust you to ask something sensible'.

Rhett laughed out loud. 'Oh Scarlett,' he chortled, 'you are delightful'. Scarlett smiled. She didn't remember the last time she had seen Rhett laugh, and it felt so good to make him happy.

'But what were you going to ask of me?' she asked when he had stopped laughing. Rhett got up, looking suddenly serious, and walked over to the window. Then he turned to face her. 'I was going to ask you, my dear, if you will promise to always love me. Because if I give myself to you as I yearn to and then you reject me again it would kill me, quite literally.' He paused and studied her intently. 'Don't answer at once. Think on it. I am nearly fifty Scarlett, and you are still young. Will you care for me when I am old or will you grow tired of me? Can you put up with my moods and my faults? What if someone younger and more manageable than I should catch your eye?'

Scarlett stared at him. He wanted to give himself to her! Was he suggesting there could ever be anyone else for her? Who could compare to Rhett?

'I promise Rhett', she said fervently. 'I will always love you. There could never be anyone else for me'.

He sat down. 'Are you sure you mean it Scarlett?', he asked quietly.

'I mean it Rhett. I am not a child any more.'

He put his head in his hands, pressing his fingertips to his eyelids. He stayed like that for a full minute. Scarlett watched him curiously. She was not sure what response she had expected, but it was not that.

At length he lifted his head and leaned back in his chair. 'Very well, my dear', he said. If we are to have any chance of getting on together there are one or two things we must discuss at the outset. The first of these is Ashley Wilkes'. His eyes narrowed as he said the name and Scarlett felt a shudder of fear as she recalled his previous fits of jealous rage over Ashley.

Her eyes flashed at him. 'I am tired of the name of Ashley Wilkes', she responded. 'I wish he had never been born'.

'A sentiment which I suspect the esteemed gentleman himself shares', Rhett answered, watching her carefully.

'Oh Rhett, must Ashley always come between us?', Scarlett asked.

Rhett studied her in silence a few moments. 'You support him financially, do you not?' he asked, with a touch of irritation in his voice.

Scarlett shot him a plaintive glance. 'Rhett, please believe me. He is nothing but an obligation to me now. Just as I looked after Melly during the siege because I promised Ashley, now I must look after Ashley because I promised Melly. I wish I didn't have to, but I do.'

Rhett stood and paced up and down thoughtfully. 'What exactly did you promise Mrs Wilkes?', he asked.

'I promised that I would look after Ashley, but never let him know, and that Beau would have a pony and college and a tour of Europe when he is older.'

'A weighty responsibility indeed', he responded. 'And how are Ashley's mills doing?'

Scarlett pressed her lips together as she thought of the mills, which had thrived under her management, now scarcely turning a profit under Ashley's inept care.

'I see', he said softly, though she had not spoken.

'Scarlett,' he said heavily, 'if you will undertake to avoid at all costs any contact with Mr Ashley Wilkes except that which is expected of you in the normal course of social activities, then I will undertake to ensure the success of his business.'

Scarlett was astonished. Rhett had always been so completely opposed to assisting Ashley.

'Would you really do that for Ashley, Rhett?' she asked.

'No, my pet,' he responded grimly. 'Not for Ashley, not even for Melly's sake. But I will do it for you, for us.'

'Thank you Rhett,' she replied gratefully. Then she added, 'I am already in the habit of avoiding unneccessary contact with Ashley, so your condition will be no hardship for me.'

There was a pause in their conversation then as Rhett resumed his pacing up and down the room. Eventually he came and sat down opposite her once more.

'That brings us to the other contentious issue that comes between us', he said warily.

Scarlett eyed him unhappily. She was not enjoying being reminded of their problems.

'I refer, of course,' he continued smoothly, 'to expectations regarding marital relations. . . . and children'.

She looked at the floor. That certainly had caused a lot of problems between them, and it had mostly been her fault.

Rhett paused thoughtfully. 'You understand, of course, that marriage generally is expected to include intimate relations between a man and his wife.'

'Of course, Rhett.' She blushed at his mention of such a topic, and her heart gave a little thrill of excitement as she thought of sharing a bed with him.

'I would have been be faithful to you Scarlett,' he said carefully, 'if you had not denied me my rights.'

'It was so childish of me,' she replied ruefully. 'I realise that now. I know that saying sorry doesn't make it right, but I am sorry. I was blind and selfish and I didn't understand. I understand better now.'

'So no more closed doors or thinking of another when we are together? Can you be only mine and wholly mine?'

'I _am_ yours Rhett. But I should be asking you that question. Can you be only mine and wholly mine?'

'Touché my dear,' he responded, his eyes twinkling with amusement. But his voice was serious as he added, 'I believe I can be.'

There was a pause then as Rhett inhaled on his cigar and exhaled slowly. Then he said in a carefully controlled voice, 'We should talk about children.' He studied her face as he spoke. 'I wouldn't want you to have a child every year,' he continued gently. 'There are ways to avoid it you know.'

'But you do want children, don't you, Rhett?' Scarlett asked.

'I don't know,' he replied truthfully. 'A part of me does, but I couldn't bear the pain of losing another child. Or risk losing you'.

'I would bear your children gladly, Rhett,' she said quietly.

'Thank you, my dear,' he replied, just as quietly. And he looked at her, a long, thoughtful gaze.

Then he stubbed out his cigar and rose from his chair. he walked over to the fireplace and rested an elbow on the mantelpiece.

'You have grown up, Scarlett,' he said, 'and I salute you. I doubted that you could change but happily I was wrong. You have become mindful of others, and a kind and loving mother. And you have proven constant in your affection towards me, though I have done little to deserve it.' He paused then before continuing, 'I don't think I ever really stopped loving you. I tried to, but I couldn't forget you. I have grown weary of running from you. I cannot go on without you.'

Scarlett rose from her chair and stepped cautiously towards him. Was this some cruel trick of his? But no, his eyes blazed forth his need. He loved her still. He wanted her! She took another step and he moved towards her. She ran into his arms and he pressed her to him, whispering 'Scarlett, my dear, my wife.'


End file.
